Kissing You
by Elurraflake
Summary: Elsa doesn't kiss her anymore. Not because she doesn't want to, well probably not. Anna knows she loves her but it's just, well, it would be awkward. (Canon Elsanna. Icest.)
1. Chapter 1

**Kissing You**

 _Written for the day one prompt of Elsanna Week, 'Kissing You', please enjoy :)_

She remembers how they used to kiss each other as children. Naturally, as sister's who loved each other would. No hesitations or second thoughts, just _love_ in its purest, childish form.

She remembered it for thirteen long years.

Elsa kissing her finger after it was trapped in a heavy castle door. " _There, does that feel better?"_

Elsa kissing her good night. _"Night, night Anna."_

Elsa kissing Anna because she was her sister and she loved her and she _could._

" _I love you."_

" _Love you too."_

Elsa doesn't kiss her anymore.

Not because she doesn't _want_ to, well probably not. Anna knows she loves her but it's just, well, it would be _awkward._

Up until a few short weeks ago, she would have thought Elsa didn't love or care for her at all. She was merely shoved away little Anna nobody. Not the heir of a kingdom, destined for greatness. Just her.

Once she would have thought she was unworthy of her elder sister's love. Beautiful Elsa, soon to be queen. The Elsa she barely ever saw or spoke to. The sister she no longer knew. But she does know she never stopped loving Elsa, even though she wasn't sure why, or in what way.

But things are so much different now. Back to how they should be. Well, they're meant to be anyway.

She's not complaining. Really she's not.

In all honesty she's ecstatic; the past weeks have been the best ever since her childhood. Perhaps even better.

Elsa's been absolutely lovely the whole time since their reunion. Ever so sweet, gentle and kind. Just as she would have hoped she would be for all those years. Showing the love she had hidden away for so long behind her locked door. Which, to Anna's utmost delight, now remains off its latch.

There's just something _missing._ And Anna can't quite put her finger on what it is.

All she does know is that ever since she's been aware of how much Elsa does love her, she's got this burning desire to show her love and adoration even more than she is right now. But she doesn't know how. The lonely little girl within, lost without more of her sister than she has. And it's hard because she's really not sure why. It's not even like Elsa's even shutting her out anymore.

Everything should be perfect.

But it's not.

Anyway, she can't let Elsa know because it would make her upset. Elsa was obviously trying her best to mend their relationship. Maybe it would just take more time.

"Elsa?"

It's late and she's gone to find Elsa. It's been a long day and she wants to see her older sister, who is where she knows she will find her.

Anna steps into Elsa's study and watches as a familiar blonde head looks up from its occupation, and crystal blue eyes, slightly glassy from tiredness, gaze briefly into her own.

There's a softness and tenderness there that matches Elsa's voice when she hums.

"Hi Anna."

"I missed you." Anna's own voice was barely more than a whisper.

"And I you." Anna could detect a hint of something in her sister's voice. Like longing.

Elsa clears her throat, and rises from her desk, packing away her ink pot and fountain pen, and tidying some papers. "I'm just finishing up here, and well, I'm glad you came. It's been a long day." She gave a weary smile.

"Yeah." It had been for both of them, each at work on their own respective jobs. Anna could feel the weight of the day on her drooping shoulders and could but imagine how Elsa was feeling, what with the added responsibility of ruling monarch on her own shoulders.

Yet they did still manage to see each other as much as possible, even if it was just a brief few minutes in the evening. Like now.

As short as the time spent together was, it was the best part of her day. Because it was Elsa, and she still couldn't _quite_ believe it that Elsa wanted to spend time with her too.

Elsa cleared her throat again, slowly walking around her desk towards where Anna was standing. Dressed in simple but elegant periwinkle with slightly messy bangs softly framing her face gave her a unique, almost celestial beauty, one which Anna hardly felt worthy of. She was still kind of in awe of her sister honestly.

Only Elsa did not hold herself in any high esteem, which then made everything okay.

"Would you care for tea?"

Anna nods, joining Elsa over on her chesterfield by the empty fireplace.

"Oh dear." Anna turns her head, hearing Elsa muttering to herself. "I'm sorry Anna, it's cold. It has been here a while I suppose. I could get some more brought up. Wait here while I─"

"Elsa." Anna stops her.

"Yes?"

"Please don't worry, I really don't mind it. And," she held up her hand to stop Elsa interrupting, "I know for a _fact_ you secretly prefer it like that anyway."

"Yes, well…"

Anna notices the crimson spreading along her sister's porcelain cheeks, and tries to stifle a giggle, and fails.

"Sorry." She snorts through her hand, feeling her own cheeks getting hot and looks away.

Awkward silence, and then. "Elsa, what's that?"

"What?"

"On the tea tray."

"Oh, right. Cake. Chocolate, I think. Gerda must've─"

"Elsa. This makes everything _so_ much better. Chocolate makes everything better."

Elsa hums softly. "Yes, I suppose it does."

"Can't go wrong with it. Now," she shoves the plate towards her delightfully bewildered sister, "eat."

There's silence, but a nice one, the heavy atmosphere having eased somewhat.

"Are you okay Elsa?" She looks far way somehow, cake in hand.

"Do you remember the times we attempted to make chocolate together?"

"I don't think I could ever forget that." Anna replies between mouthfuls. "It never worked. It tasted disgusting. Like cement." She makes a face.

"Oh Anna, it wasn't all that bad. I'll tell you what _was_ bad though. The time you gave me your homemade 'chocolate' cake, prepared deliciously with dirt straight from the castle gardens, I recall." Elsa chuckles.

"Oh, yeah." Anna pauses. "But you fell for it so bad though." She chortles.

"I did indeed." Elsa giggles, lifting her hand to her face to muffle the sound. It makes Anna feel giddy watching her.

Elsa's eyes are positively twinkling before she becomes self-conscious once again and she glances away. It's just so _nice_ , and she never, ever wants to leave.

Normally she would have by now. On other nights they would talk a while, briefly hug good night, and retire wearily to their respective chambers.

Tonight is different. She isn't exactly sure why, but it is. They're barely even speaking to one another, but something in the atmosphere is keeping her there, and it's the same for Elsa too it seems.

She hears Elsa sigh contentedly beside her, and turns to watch her lean her back further into the seat. Anna follows suit, and goes even further, kicking off her shoes and lifting her feet, hugging her stockinged legs to herself.

"Comfy?" Elsa smiles crookedly.

"Mhm." She grins, before shutting her eyes and sinking further into the chair.

She feels movement beside her, and smiles inwardly, knowing that Elsa had indeed done the same.

Anna shuffles just a little bit more, and lets her hand stretch out beside her, and Elsa's must have stretched out too, and accidentally too close, because Anna can feel something soft and cool brushing against her own.

Except it doesn't move away as she expects it to. And it's at that moment she realises maybe it wasn't an accident at all, because Elsa's hands closer and she's ever so delicately brushing her fingers against her skin.

Anna gulps as a shiver runs up her spine, but she can't open her eyes or it might make Elsa back away again and break the spell. So she remains absolutely still, skin tingling all over.

She knows touch is still foreign for Elsa, and it's not something she's done much of, which makes it all so much more precious.

Elsa's fingers trace gentle lines over the dips and mounds of her knuckles, and rise to circle her wrist; touch as soft as a feather and cool as a gentle wind. Until she ever so gently tucks her hand under Anna's own warm one and intertwines their fingers.

Anna fights the urge to grasp it tight and never let go, but she cannot resist opening her eyes to see Elsa looking straight at her.

"Is this ok?" Elsa whispers.

Anna nods, the lump forming in her throat preventing her from speech. She feels her eyes begin to sting and everything's cloudy. _Don't let go. I need you here._

"I won't." Now Elsa's hugging her tight, and it's just like when they were children and she would feel safe in her sister's arms. She can feel the icy coolness of her skin, caused by the magic that for so long had been feared, now makes her feel so protected, and makes burying into Elsa's chest so lovely.

And when Elsa runs her fingers through Anna's hair and gently scratches her scalp, Anna didn't think there could be anything more wonderful in the whole world.

Except there is because Elsa just _kissed_ her. On her hair line, lips barely brushing her skin but she still did. And it wasn't awkward or weird. Just wonderful. And it makes Anna blubber even more than she was before.

When Elsa does let go, Anna's heart drops and hangs her head. Until Elsa lifts her chin firmly, but still gently, and uses her thumbs to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

Elsa's hands are shaking just the slightest bit, and Anna can see there's tears forming in her own eyes, so she takes the hands in her own and gently squeezes them to reassure her. A single tear makes its way down Elsa's face and Anna holds back the desire to kiss it away, instead brushing it away with her thumb just as Elsa did her; it's as cold as ice.

Elsa gives a breathy laugh. "Look at us." She averts her eyes from Anna's now strong gaze, a new found confidence now taking hold of her.

"Yes, look at us." She uses her hand to bring Elsa's focus back to her again, and slowly leans in to her sister's pale cheek, planting the softest of kisses to the cool skin beneath her lips.

After she pulls away, but before she can register any surprise on her sister's face, Elsa's hand's upon her cheek again, and with her eyes closed she leans towards her timidly brushing her lips against Anna's.

Anna's eyes pop open, and she ends up being the one who's surprised. Pleasantly of course, which she has to let Elsa know, before she ends up losing her again. She smiles widely unable to contain it, and rubs Elsa's nose with her own.

"It's okay, Els." She whispers. "It's perfect."

 _Thanks for reading. There is a sequel in the works which will hopefully be up very soon._


	2. Loving You

**Loving You**

 _Continuation of Elsanna Week day 1 prompt- Kissing You_

 _I'm really not sure about this, but here we go anyway. Please enjoy :)_

 **Please be aware there is slight NSFW**

* * *

Elsa kisses her.

A lot.

Softly. Sweetly. Gently.

And each time she does it's as if the crater in her heart fills a little more until, perhaps, one day it will be complete once more.

She's missed Elsa so much more than she can fathom, and having her back is the only thing she's ever really wanted for a long, long time.

And the best possible thing of all is seeing her sister so _happy._ She swears one of these days her mouth is going to split open from grinning too wide, just from witnessing the pure joy on Elsa's face when she smiles.

* * *

A few days ago she found Elsa in the portrait gallery, gazing solemnly up at a portrait of their mother and father. It's her favourite one of all; her mother is elegantly seated while her father stands behind her chair, with his hand rested tenderly on her shoulder.

"Elsa?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think, if they saw us now, they would like what's become of us?"

Elsa's silent for a moment, before taking Anna's hand in her own and squeezing it tight. "I think…they would be glad if we were to find happiness."

"And do you think we have?"

Elsa slowly reaches up and gently tucks a stray piece of hair behind her ear, so that she feels it tickle slightly against her skin. "I believe so Anna. So long as we're together."

 _Together._

 _Together._

 _Together…_

* * *

Long evenings curled up in front of the fire in the study, gradually extend into nights between the sheets of a shared bed. It's as if alone is loneliness, and neither wants to be without the other unless absolutely necessary. Especially at night.

Often the nights are peaceful and full of restful slumber, and the sound of her sister's soft breaths make her feel so safe. But others are different. These are the nights when she's covered in sweat, clinging to her sheets, and wakes desperately gasping for air as if her life depends on that one single breath.

Other times its Elsa who has the terrors. They're both still haunted by the past.

This morning she wakes to Elsa shaking her, lines of concern etched all over her face.

"Anna, please. It's alright. I'm here."

"Elsa!"

She hasn't any conceivable idea of what she's doing, when she's taken her roughly by the shoulders, digging her nails into delicate skin.

And before Elsa can but let out a gasp, she's pressed her lips to her sister's and pushed her tongue between her parted lips. She's all shivery, shaky and needy, and it's all she can do to grab on tight end _never_ let go, for if she does she'll be swallowed into an abyss of darkness.

Except she does let go, because her eyes are looking directly into Elsa's blue ones. And they've got shock and bewilderment written all over them. So she bolts.

* * *

She's lost track of time and how long she's been lying there. All she knows is that it's late because the room is now pitch black.

She hasn't even cried. There's just this awful, hollow and sick kind of feeling in her stomach.

Elsa's been in already, long ago. She was being totally reasonable and understanding, giving Anna the space she needed, despite her apparent foolishness.

She told her how it's not her fault. How they're both still healing and they've got a long way to go. And deep down she know it's true, but can't quite let herself believe it.

She almost wishes her sister weren't so considerate. That she would make Anna explain her actions and apologise. Make her talk, instead of respecting her silence.

And she _knows_ why Elsa's acting the way she is, because of her own past and insecurities. Which just makes it so much worse.

However, early the next morning after a somewhat numbing, but surprisingly reasonable sleep she's realised she's glad of the time alone. To gather her bearings a bit.

She spends the majority of the day curled up in the stables, nuzzling into the mane of her beloved horse. It's not _quite_ the same as Elsa's hugs, but it does do the job in helping her feel a little better and gather up the confidence to speak to Elsa.

Her eyes still remain dry.

* * *

Late that evening, she's ready. She's trembling, heart pounding, but she can do it.

It's the first time in a while that she's felt the need to knock. But Elsa doesn't question it, as she silently beckons her inside with the nod of a head.

She looks just as she did when she last properly saw her, clad in her satin nightgown, hair flowing loose and fair around her shoulders.

Anna takes her focus away, looking down at the hands that she is vigorously ringing. She launches straight into what she needs to say.

"I-I'm really sorry Elsa. I know you don't want me to say it, but I need to. For me. For _us._ So, I'm sorry for forcing myself on you. For pushing you further than you're ready to go. For _hurting_ you…"

She makes herself look up. "And you're right, we both still have a whole lot of healing to do. But it's still no excuse for…"

She's stopped in her tracks because Elsa's coming towards her with this furiously determined look on her face and just delicately placed her hands on Anna's shoulders, and leant in and captured her bottom lip between her own.

She can scarcely breathe, as she responds to the gesture, burying her fingers in the ever so familiar strands of white gold.

"Oh, Elsa." She can't help but smile, when Elsa's slowly pulled away looking all shy and flushed.

"Better now?"

Anna nods, because it is.

They both lean in this time, breath bated, eyes closing. And somehow their foreheads bump together, and all of a sudden the atmosphere's changed, Elsa giggling breathily. "Sorry!"

She can't help but laugh, and now the tears come, and she's crying as well. Soon she's wrapped up in her sister's tight grasp.

"I love you Elsa." She whispers, as she melts into her sister's shoulder.

* * *

She wakes up to a room not yet lit up by the morning sun, a thin greyness still enveloping the features the room.

Smooth fingers are gently caressing her head, and running themselves lazily through her hair. Being still so drowsy, she slowly sighs and leans into the gentle touch. She's gotten used to Elsa's displays of affection, but now it's different, because of what just happened.

She cuddles in just a bit closer.

"Anna?" The fingers stop their motion, and inch away from her head. "You awake?"

"Yeah." She adjusts herself carefully, so she can wrap her arms tightly around Elsa's middle.

Elsa sighs heavily. "I couldn't sleep, thinking about the last couple of days."

Anna stiffens, that awful heavy feeling of guilt filling her insides like slow working poison. "I'm sorry, Elsa. I'm so sorry, I won't let it happen again."

"No!" Elsa pulls out of the grip. "Please…stop apologising."

And before she has to think how to respond, Elsa has shifted herself so her face is hovering right over her, and sits atop her hips, one leg either side. She keeps Anna firmly in place with her serious but undoubtedly affectionate expression, and the hands she gently takes hold of.

"Don't apologise for being scared, or the presence of fear." Her gaze drops for a moment, and her voice is softer. "I know all too well what damage that can do."

"And," she whispers, "don't forget you're not the only one who still gets scared." She lifts Anna's hand and brings it up to her chest, where she can clearly feel the throb of Elsa's accelerated heart rate.

Anna gulps as her sister gently brings her hand back down, and places them both down onto the pillow on either side of her head, palms facing the ceiling. Elsa takes hold of them, intertwining their fingers, and leans in further so their faces almost touch.

"I love you Anna. So much." Those eyes are so earnest, and beautiful, that Anna can't help but be drawn in by them, like a tide to the shore.

Elsa kisses her forehead and nose and each of her cheek bones, pleasantly cold lips placed tenderly against her skin.

There's a sensation she cannot define bubbling up inside of her, and between her and the usually cool Elsa there's something like heat rising. Just gradually, but it's _there_. Like a pot beginning to simmer atop a stove.

Elsa lets go of her hands, instead bringing them up to cup Anna's cheeks, and she feels her breath catch as her sister trails a finger down to the tip of her chin, and brushes across her lips with the pad of a thumb.

She watches Elsa's eyes close over, and her throat bob as she thickly swallows, before she's leaned in and their lips meet. Still hesitantly gentle, both holding back just the slightest bit, a brushing of quivering lips.

As the first tentative rays of sunlight inch their way through the gaps in the curtains, her sister comes into clearer view. Hair just a little messy, and with a glow on her face that's coming from either the window or some place inside of her.

Shoulder exposed to reveal part of a pale breast, she's perfectly okay. Nothing on her at all, not even a scratch. Just _Elsa._ Every part of her sister is whole and precious.

All she wants to do is hold her closer. So she does, gently guiding her down to lay in the space between her legs.

Elsa's so, so near that she can feel every part of her against her. Every wonderful bump and mound. And that instinctual feeling just takes her into its grip, so she's met with Elsa's lips and mouth and tongue.

But this time it's okay, because it just happens. Both of them together, in sync with each other. Working together in harmony, finding how the other feels and moves and _tastes._ Feeling Elsa twitch above her as she's raked her fingers down her back is purely intoxicating.

And she's content because this is where she's meant to be. With Elsa, exploring her in fullness, through the open door to her heart, soul and _body._

Finally, they inch apart and Anna can hear Elsa's shuddering breath in her ear, and feel wet tears against her cheek.

All the fear, and loneliness and worthlessness are worth it because everything is pure and laid bare in this moment. As she loves her sister, who loves her wholly in return.

And maybe they still have a distance to travel before they can leave the past behind. But it's okay. Because there are times that can be heart wrenchingly painful, but there are also moments like these which are…perfect.

* * *

 _Thanks for reading!_


End file.
